01 The Ruiner “Easy Way Out” Pt. 8

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VIII- World’s Best Plan

White House security wasn’t what it used to be or maybe it was just that Vincent Harris was getting better at his job. It’d been a while since he’d snuck into the President’s home and he swore it wasn’t this easy last time.

If it were daytime he would have just went in as part of the tour and snuck away to wait for the President in the Oval Office. Being as it was the dead of night, Harris came up with a different plan.

It wasn’t the kind of plan that was going to win the award for “World’s Best Plan”, but what it lacked in cleverness and grace it more than made up for in terms of sheer effectiveness and simplicity.

Harris spent most of the past decade or so learning how to kill people and then killing people, but that was only one side to his training. Getting into and out of places unseen and unnoticed were skills just as important to someone in his line of work. Being unnoticed was far more difficult than just not being seen. There are many ways to know if someone is around and only one of them relies on sight. Bio-electrical sensors, infrared body heat imagers, microphones, scales, and scent detectors could betray a human’s presence without resorting to seeing them.

Guards weren’t a problem, they hardly ever posed more than an annoyance to him. The biggest difficulty was deciding whether to kill them or put them to sleep. At first, Harris struggled with those options, but now he had a system. Even number days he put guards to sleep, odd-numbered ones he’d scramble their brains. The only exception was that he never killed soldiers or agents working for the United States.

He didn’t always sneak into the White House, he’d been there plenty of times for legitimate reasons and used the door like everyone else for those times. This time was different though, this was the first time he broke into the White House specifically to commit treason.

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01 The Ruiner “Easy Way Out” Pt. 7

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Pt. VII. Don’t Look An Iron Horse In The Mouth.

Four identical, white, non-descript-to-the-point-of-sticking-out-like-a-sore-thumb vans parked in front of the coffee shop while Vincent Harris and Agent 34 were finishing up their coffee break.

“How do we know you’re right?” Harris asked. “Don’t get me wrong. Your idea makes sense and I really dig trains, so I’m in. But what if you’re wrong?” Harris ignored the four assault vans. He assumed they were full of government agents who were used to hanging out with aliens and didn’t seem to care too much for the Constitution.

The white vans shut their engines off, not in unison but almost in unison. It was close enough to make it seem creepy and slightly unnatural.

“I’m not. Watch this.”


Agent 34 stood up and waved right at the vans like they were full of co-workers who liked her and not co-workers that tried to kill her earlier in the day.

“You should come with me so you can see how right I am,” She said while walking towards the door.

Vincent Harris followed, slightly puzzled. He mentally made a few plans as to how he’d kill everyone in the vans if it came to that. He was sure he could do it without making too much of a fuss. There might be some goo puddles and limbs leftover, but he was certain he could make it look like an accident. He was even fairly confident Agent 34 would survive; she’d been pretty good at not dying so far.

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01 The Ruiner “Easy Way Out” Pt. 6

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Pt. VI Let’s Go Down to the Lobby

“Bullshit! That’s not the sound a breaking skull makes,” Harris yelled at the screen, spilling the popcorn he was holding but not eating. He turned to Agent 34, who was sitting next to him and continued, “Can you believe this shit? Doesn’t anyone in Hollywood do any research? Goddamn morons.”

Agent 34 was speechless. She didn’t want to go to the movies in the first place even though Harris offered to pay for the tickets and buy her snacks. She didn’t think it was the right move considering both of their bosses just tried to kill them and presumably still wanted them dead. She protested the suggestion but when he pressed for a better alternative as to the proper course of action, she came up with goose eggs.

So they went to the movies.

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01 The Ruiner “Easy Way Out” Pt. 5

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V. Let’s Make a Deal

The sub-basement of Fourth Branch Safe House, Newark, NJ November 15, 03:13

“I told you, I’m supposed to be on vacation. That’s the only reason why. I’m not saying anything else until I hear from my boss.”

Agent 99 shook his head for the twenty-second time in the 15 minutes he’d been interrogating Vincent Harris.

“I’m going to ask one more time and if you still want to be a wise ass, I’ll have to, uh, switch my interview style, if you see where I’m going.”

“Sure, buddy. Whatever you have to do. You don’t want to believe me, that’s your ass- not mine. I already gave you the same answers to the same questions about six times now. Is my face that dishonest looking? I’m not sure why we’re having all these problems establishing rapport.”

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01 The Ruiner “Easy Way Out” Pt. 4

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IV. Crabs in a Barrel

Home of Commander Rich Terbim, Ruiner Project Head, U.S. Army. Nov. 14, 2016 23:03 pm. Monday.   

Commander Terbim was hissing furiously into his telephone even though the party on the other end had hung up about five minutes ago. He eventually noticed this and slammed the phone back into its cradle.

That’s how all his conversations with Vincent Harris ended.

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