The Rude Awakening III
The ride to Tiger Tail Resort was about 60 minutes in adult time. For Jimmy and Sally it felt like exactly 143 minutes. Because of their unfinished brains, high metabolisms, unmitigated curiosity, and unbridled enthusiasm, children are often subject to time warps, slow-downs, speed-ups, and spontaneous bouts of time travel which makes going anywhere with them something of an inconvenience for everyone, big and small, involved.
There are ways to ease the discomfort of children in transit, but many of them involve seeing things from the perspective of a child and trying to understand their point of view. Sadly, these are not popular methods with many modern parents who prefer demanding and ordering their children over understanding them.
Jimmy and Sally were so excited over going to Tiger Tail Resort that they seemed to be full of jumping beans and couldn’t sit still or be quiet without great difficulty. Jimmy’s Grandfather knew this and expected neither quiet nor stillness from either of the children. The little chatter-boxes rattled of a non-stop list off questions that would have exhausted even the most patient parent.
Only a grandparent could hope to live through such an onslaught of queries while retaining their sanity.
A partial list of those questions lies below:
“How did you make my coat appear?”
“How long until the whammy is broken?”
“Can I pee on the side of the road?”
“I wanna pee outside too.”
“Is Tiger Tail Resort really where we’re going?”
“I don’t have to pee anymore.”
“Are we there yet?”
“There’s something in Jimmy’s eye.”
“Does Mom know?”
“What about Dad, does he know?”
“Do we get to go on all the rides?”
“How much ice cream can I eat?”
“Will breaking the Whammy hurt?”
“Does everyone get to be a ghost?”
“How many dogs have you owned?”
“How much magic is there?”
“Can I get a hat like the driver has?”
“Am I a witch?”
“Is growing up worth it?”
“Is being old fun?”
“What are taxes?”
“What are faxes?”
“Are faxes like taxes?”
“Why do they sound the same then?”