Straight From the Fridge

 

Dear The Reverend Doctor Hugo Holmesnow,

Whenever I get involved in a relationship terrible things happen to person I’m with. It wasn’t always this way. I used to be able to meet some one and have a good time with them. We’d do things together, talk to each other, cook and eat food together- all the classic love things. For the past ten years or so, ever since returning from New Orleans where I visited a Voodoo priest and didn’t pay him, all of my romantic interests die during our first date.

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Straight From The Fridge

 

Dear Dr. Hugo,

I bought your book “What is Wrong With You” and read the entire thing. I didn’t really find out anything about what was wrong with me, only stuff about the things that have caused me to have things wrong with me. Puzzled by this phenomenon, I bought your second book “Conquer Your Dreams” and also read that one too. I didn’t really learn how to do anything from that book, only that it is bad to have dreams and want to do something with your life.

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Straight From The Fridge

Dear The Rev. Dr. Holmesnow,

I am a young mother of a younger child and I have a suspicion that he has started “vaping”. I have noticed a slight increase in cognitive function, a common side effect of  Nicotine use, and he often smells like fruity breakfast cereal. Also, his room is full of weird looking tiny bottles and strange electric things.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried worrying, saying nothing and yelling at my husband until he goes “Aggggh!!” but it hasn’t been working like it usually does. How can I tell if my son is smoking vapes? This is tearing the family apart.

About to Burst in Jersey City, NJ

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