Mystical Merwin Psychic Pet/Pet Psychic January 2017

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Dear Merwin,
My pet monkey Bonkers is doing this thing that is making him difficult to be around. He has taken to regularly masturbating all over the floor. He won’t even use a tissue or a sock. I have made a point to leave socks all around the house for the express purpose of his monkey sperm not being on my rug or in my hair.

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