Mystical Merwin Pet Psychic, Psychic Pet

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Dear Merwin,

I hope I addressed you correctly. The last time I wrote a letter to an advice columnist it went poorly. I broke some invisible rules and took a verbal beating that bordered on spiritual abuse.¬†Anyways, here’s my question for you- I have a cat named Bonkers, she’s not at all like that monkey named Bonkers from your first column. Don’t worry.

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Mystical Merwin Pet Psychic/Psychic Pet

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I really hope you print this letter because I have a really big problem. I think you might be the only one who can help me out of this. I have two cats, ¬†one is named “Bill Bo, ” and the other is named “Bagg Inns.” Bagg Inns’ name is spelled funny, but that’s because he’s a funny guy- like you I bet! Well, maybe you’re more serious and mystical than funny, I don’t know. We’ve never met. I’d like to meet you. Anytime! You already have my address because I mailed you a letter and you have my phone number because I wrote it in the letter. Ball’s in your court.

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