Mystical Merwin Psychic Pet, Pet Psychic July 2017

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Dear Merwin,
I think my neighbors cat might be a terrorist. I’ve convinced myself that this cat is a member of that religion that every one hates and is afraid of now a days and I won’t be changing my mind about that any time soon. Lately he received over 30 packages of bang snaps. I feel he’s planning something, possibly something big. What should I do?

Gertrude in New York

Dear Gertrude,
I spoke to Hans, the cat in question. We had a nice chat in the Catstral Plane about how irritating it is when people don’t mind their own business. Hans comes from along line of Lutherans and is confused about why you thought he was Muslim. Is it because of the color of his fur? It’s not even black, you monster.

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Mystical Merwin Psychic Pet, Pet Psychic June 2017

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Hey Merwin,
Why do cats sleep all day and then wake up at 3 am…. and well, what do they do? Can’t they do it during the day and sleep at night?

M.L. in OH

Dear M.L.,
The reason for this is simple. At 3 a.m a shift in the Earth’s energy field takes place. Many humans can feel this shift and wake up during it. Some of you have even named this time “Midnight for the Soul”, which is a bit over dramatic, if you ask me.

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Mystical Merwin Psychic Pet, Pet Psychic

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Dear Merwin,

I’ve moved to a new city, and would like to host a party for all of the new cat friends I’ve made in my new apartment building. I already plan to have the Scrabble board all set up, and if things get slow, I’ve got an important Word doc I could try to work on. Do you have any good recipe ideas?Thanks in advance!
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Mystical Merwin Pet Psychic, Psychic Pet

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Dear Merwin,

I hope I addressed you correctly. The last time I wrote a letter to an advice columnist it went poorly. I broke some invisible rules and took a verbal beating that bordered on spiritual abuse. Anyways, here’s my question for you- I have a cat named Bonkers, she’s not at all like that monkey named Bonkers from your first column. Don’t worry.

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