Letter From the Editor September 9, 2017

Greetings, Doomed Monkeys, it’s Chef Mort whipping up another flambe of tasty morsels. First up, T. J. gets to the bottom of things in an all new adventure called ‘B’ is for Basement. The Crescent City Creeps come creeping in with another installment. Have they found that damn bird yet? Some wires and lines got crossed on this week’s Page Five Ghoul. I gotta hire somebody to man the phones. Which reminds me, Hugo is here with some advice for the lovebirds out there and then it’s mostly an ad. Speaking of ads, this magnificent feast would represent the last of the petty cash if it weren’t for our sponsors, Lig-a-Mintz who invite you try their purrfect new product. See ya next time, kids. Anathematisation!

Letter From the Editor September 2, 2017

Greetings, Doomed Monkeys! It’s old Uncle Mort here, slinging a whole new week of hash your way. It’s the first of the month, so get off on the right foot with Star Mistress Stella and her Stellar Forecast for September. Ray and the gang are back and looking for a place to dry off. Jimmy Jam and Sally Slam are here and resorting to their usual shenanigans. You don’t want to miss it! And as always, The Page Five Ghouls have taken a colleague’s advice and are off to release their inner Krakens. Oh boy, am I ever going to pay those kids? All this brought to you by 8 Teenz. Stay outta trouble, kids. Until next time, triskaidekaphobia!

Letter From the Editor August 26, 2017

Greetings, Doomed Monkeys! Can you believe it,  kids? Summer is almost over! Time for the little monsters to go back to school. School is letting out around here though, as B.F. Smith wraps up his Primer on Zen Boozism. A. Wizard is here with a new episode of the Wizard on Whizzin: Sound Only podcast. He’s also brought along a Hugo Holmesnow sonic blast of wisdom- I bet you all were hoping for one of those! The Joneses turn back the clock in this month’s displacing episode. Watch where you step, friends! Merwin is slinking around with this month’s Mystical Merwin. That and the Page Five Ghouls seem like they’re trying to make a point. Until next week, kids: Aktiengesellschaft!

Letter From the Editor August 19, 2017

Greetings, Doomed Monkeys, Uncle Mort here with this week’s haul! This week we have a double shot of A. Wizard in ‘Wizard of Whizzin’. The Ruiner has it all planned out in latest installment of ‘Easy Way Out’. Things get tense in a therapeutic installment of Psamurai. And this week, the Page Five Ghouls finally stop costing us twice as much to run one article, as the kids run into each other in an unusual place. All this is brought to you by the folks down at the Women’s Pants Emporium. Turn the lights out when you go and until next time, saponification!

Letter From the Editor August 12, 2017

Greetings, Doomed Monkeys! Here we go again, with a whole new Saturday Evening Ghost. Nobody knows witch way to go in this month’s Crescent City Creeps. Hugo Holmesnow came to work this week to bring us another possibly informative edition of Straight From the Fridge. T. J. Washington shows us why he’s nothing sneeze at in the latest installment of ‘Hoodoo, Hoodone, Hoodid’. And, as always, the globetrotting Page Five Ghouls are checking in on us. All of this is brought to you by our new sponsor, Cannibal’s Choice, whose line of terrific bath products will leave you feeling clean and delicious! So until we meet again (next week), sphygmomanometer!