Jimmy Jam, Sally Slam and The Birthday Sham Pt. 1

Sally carefully folded her robe and sheathed her dagger. She placed both the items in a wooden box and locked it. She hid the wooden box at the bottom of her closet and turned her attention to her diary. She wrote about her day, what she had eaten, her mood, the mood of her parents, the phase of the moon, and how she felt after performing her daily rituals. She liked writing about her thoughts and feelings, but not so much about her day. Even though she was barely seven, she knew how to spell more words than most kids two years older than her.

Being a Junior Sorcerer wasn’t easy for adults, so it should be reasonably understandable that children would have an extra tough go at it. Sally had been studying hard but was still having some issues with ancient Hebrew. Her Latin was coming along nicely though, much to the surprise and joy of her instructors.

She closed her diary and, with a sigh, assumed the half-lotus position and shut her eyes. Meditation wasn’t her favorite part of learning Magick, as no child’s idea of a good time is sitting perfectly still in a void of non-thought, she did find the practice useful and worthwhile. It was similar, in her mind, to vegetables in this manner. The value and benefits were a bit divorced from engaging in the process. Seeing things this way was pretty new to her. Before joining the Society she hated doing anything that wasn’t immediately enjoyable. As all regular readers of these accounts know, her impulsive and overly emotional behavior caused more bloodshed and broken bones than someone of her size should be able to cause.

Jimmy, on the other hand, really took to meditation and found himself practicing longer and longer each day. Just by little bits of longer and longer, he was in currently in no danger of accidentally becoming a Dali Lama. He liked the calmness that the practice brought him. He felt it made him more efficient in the field.

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“Classic” SEG: Jimmy Jam, Sally Slam and the Rude Awakening Pt. 1


Last time we saw Jimmy and Sally, Sally had just woken up in the middle of the night and discovered that their extended stay in the Grove of L’il Suicides was nothing but a dream. As it turns out, they didn’t spend a lifetime in the after life. Nor did they eventually return to earth and fall in love. However, their parents were still fed up with what horrible children they were and both Jimmy’s Wizard Uncle and Sally’s Aunt Witch took vows to never bring them back from the dead again.

Jimmy had the same dream Sally did. He too, woke up crying but didn’t call out for comfort. If he did, he was afraid he’d lose the fear he spent years instilling in his mother and second dad. If word got out that he cried over a dream- no matter how terrifying a dream it was- his reputation as coolest kid in town would be tarnished forever. So he sucked it up and chewed on his pillow until he fell back asleep.

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SEG 1st Anniversary: Jimmy Jam And The Bath Time Scam


Jimmy Jam was 6. He was the coolest kid in town and everyone knew it. Everyone. The mailman, the firemen, and even the man at the ice cream store- in addition to all the neighbors. If Jimmy Jam met someone who didn’t know he was the coolest kid in town, he’d tell them. Then they’d know.

He had a leather motorcycle jacket that his favorite uncle had given him before he was born, because his uncle was a wizard, he already knew how cool Jimmy would be.

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Jimmy Jam, Sally Slam and The Rude Awakening Pt. 6

The Rude Awakening Pt. VI

“King me, Magus,” Sally said while pushing one of her red checkers to the end of Grand Father’s side of the board. Grand Father complied with a smile. He wasn’t even trying to lose on purpose, Sally just had a gift with checkers.

Jimmy was sitting on the couch watching cartoons and eating potato chips after having been eliminated from the checkers tournament three games ago. He failed to notice an opportunity to double-jump Sally and as a consequence ended up squaring off against four kings who had backed his remaining pieces into a corner. He never stood a chance.

All three were dressed in their formal robes and had spent the past two and a half days playing games and being lazy. Not the usual kind of lazy, but rather the well earned, justified sort of lazy that happens every once in a while if one is lucky.

Meanwhile back at Jimmy and Sally’s houses, their Parents had been asleep for the past two and a half days. They weren’t sleeping out of laziness but rather as a side effect of the counter-Whammy Jimmy’s Grand Father and the Spirit of Jimmy’s Grand Mother had placed upon them. While they slept each Parent was visited by the spirit of Jimmy’s Grand Mother who explained to them, one by one, how they had crossed the line by placing a Whammy on their children instead of parenting them.

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Jimmy Jam, Sally Slam and The Rude Awakening Pt. 5

The Rude Awakening V.

“Jimmy, Sally, do either of you know who put the Whammy on you?”

“Yes, our parents did it,” Sally answered.

“Right. Do you know the only way to break a Whammy like this?”

Neither Sally nor Jimmy knew the answer to Grand Father’s question. They hadn’t given much thought to breaking the Whammy over the past few days. At first, all they wanted was vengeance. When they realized that wasn’t going to be a helpful course of action, they sort of forgot about it because of all the fun they were having at Tiger Tail Resort.

Now it was after dinner and water sliding. Dessert was over. The children were bathed, filled to the brim with food, and dressed in their pajamas. They sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Jimmy’s Grand Father. Gustav was playing cards in the adjoining room, while secretly listening at the connecting door when he could. He didn’t listen too much though. After all, he wasn’t trying to be rude, just well informed.

Grandfather poured himself a cup of tea before saying, “Your parents have to die in order for the Whammy to break. I’m afraid there’s no other way.”

“Okay,” Sally said.

“For how long? Like a few days?” Jimmy added.

When Gustav heard the calm, eerie, acceptance the children had just shown, he fell off his seat in the other room, making a thumping sound.

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