Straight From The Fridge December 2017

Hello wisdom-teers. Where did 2017 go? I have been busy writing books, innovating the advice column industry, becoming a webmaster, establishing a Twitter initiative, and still finding time to meet with my paying clients.

I thought we’d take a look back on the journey we’ve shared together. Let us start at the beginning in order to avoid confusing yourself:

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Mystical Merwin Psychic Pet, Pet Psychic November 2017

Dear Merwin,
I have 3 cats, 2.6 dogs (long story), a hamster, and some sort of bird. Everyone gets along pretty well considering I live in a one bedroom apartment. My question is about the upcoming holidays. There’s such a mix of breeds and species, how can I celebrate this season without offending one or all of them?

2 of the cats are orange and the other is a tuxedo, so I know they come from different cultures and have different holiday traditions. I know nothing about the holidays and religious preferences of dogs, and Rosco doesn’t seem too interested in celebrating the holidays in the traditional hamster manner- not that I know what that would be like.

How can I at least acknowledge the wonderful tapestry of diversity and encourage everyone to do the same without offending anyone?

Thanks!
Claire Laboodoo
South Dakota

Dear Claire,
Wikipedia defines psychological projection as “Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others.”

As Always I Remain,
Merwin

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Straight From The Fridge November 2017

Greetings, fellow agents of evolution. I know that you are aware that my evolution level is higher than yours, for your safety (you’re welcome), but that should not stop me from wishing you a happy and delightful holiday season that finds you and yours full of wisdom, mushrooms, and evolution, devoid of sleep problems, and enjoying a re-invigorated love life.

As regular readers of my column, you are surely familiar with its topics.

My first gift to you this holiday season is another episode of my pod cast “The Rev. Dr. Hugo Homlesnow’s Sonic Blast of Wisdom featuring me or my underlings.” This time, on the 4th episode, Hack-Writer T. Volpone returns to butcher chapter 3 of my masterpiece “What is Wrong With You? An Introduction to What is Wrong With You?”

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Mystical Merwin Psychic Pet, Pet Psychic October 2017

Dear Merwin,
There’s a squirrel that always comes right up to me and sits on my shoe and stares into my eyes for hours. Is there anything that I need to do about this? It’s been going on for about 4 months now. I’m not sure he (or she) qualifies as a pet, but if anyone can help me out, it’s you.

Selena in West Eastboro

Dear Selena,
Have you fed it? If so, that’s enough for it to count as a pet legally in most places. I took a journey into the ether in order to search for this squirrel and discuss its intentions with it, but was unable to find the slightest trace of its energy signature. I’ve sent this news up the ladder to the proper authorities. I only hope they get it in time. If you haven’t fed it, I urge you not to. If you have, you might want to get your affairs in order. This could be serious business with far-reaching consequences or it could be silly squirrel stuff. There’s really no way to tell without performing a detailed analysis of each of your brains.

Thanks for alerting me and stay on your toes, it might be a little “nutty” out there until this is all worked out.

Your Pal,
Merwin

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Straight From The Fridge October 2017

::::::Attention:::::: ::::::Attention::::: :::::::Powerful Announcement About to Take Place. Please grab your cleansing stones and rub your power balls.::::::::::

I, The Rev. Dr. Hugo Holmesnow, Shaman, Monk, Life-Coach, and Ultra-Violet Adult;  am about to shatter your small world with one massive revelation which shall change your life forever. Again.

When I was a child, that’s all I was. I had no title(s) before my name. My parents, for the brief time I was with them, often forsook using my name in order to refer to me as “child”. I do not count that as a title.

Then, when I was 8, I was a Shaman, then after that a monk. After that, I was a Shaman-Monk. The dash was painful and difficult to acquire. But I kept my eye on the prize. After that, more things transpired and I earned the title of Life-Coach. I was soon awarded (in exchange for a small fee) the title of “Reverend Doctor”, which I shorten to “Rev. Dr.” out of modesty. After receiving all those titles, I stopped growing my name for a while in order to focus on the needs of others.

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