Message From The Editor

 

 

Greetings, Doomed Monkeys. It’s your old pal Mortimer T. Myrrh back again with another thrilling issue of the Saturday Evening Ghost. It’s been a whole month, kids. Can you believe it? Seems like only yesterday we were picking out domain names! This week Reverend Boozeabus brings you an introduction to inebriated mysticism, we got a little sci-fi adventure and we travel to the Emerald Isle to meet this week’s Page Five Ghoul. And if that wasn’t enough for ya, help us welcome our newest columnist Merwyn! He’s pet psychic who’s also a psychic pet, so you know he’s got the inside poop scoop. It’s gonna be a firecracker! See ya next week! Euthanasia!

Sponsored Content by The Rev. Dr. Hugo Holmesnow- “A Free Taste of My Wisdom and Power

Are you already a blogger?

Are you already doing “blogs”? If so, know that it is not to late to live the dream of one day rising above these urges and once again becoming a decent human being.

I know that being the sort of human being that can enjoy the company of other human beings in a social setting seems like a moon dream, a magical fantastical never going to happen so why not just keep blogging sort of wish. The sort of wish too big for a birthday cake to grant, far too big. That never stops you from trying, does it? Year after year, cake after cake, always failure.

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Straight From The Fridge January 2017

Dear The Rev. Dr. Holmesnow,

I am a young mother of a younger child and I have a suspicion that he has started “vaping”. I have noticed a slight increase in cognitive function, a common side effect of  Nicotine use, and he often smells like fruity breakfast cereal. Also, his room is full of weird looking tiny bottles and strange electric things.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried worrying, saying nothing and yelling at my husband until he goes “Aggggh!!” but it hasn’t been working like it usually does. How can I tell if my son is smoking vapes? This is tearing the family apart.

About to Burst in Jersey City, NJ

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Page Five Ghoul

 

 

Kelpie

This week’s page five ghoul hails from Scotland, where they call lakes, ‘lochs.’

This malevolent water horse likes to hang out in large bodies of water and just generally hand out wolf tickets to anyone who fucked around too close to their habitat. Mostly appearing as a horse, it could change itself into human form in an attempt to get its rocks off with the local human folk as all mythological creatures seem wont to do. Swipe right!!!

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