Serial fiction, horoscopes, advice, even stuff for the kiddies. You name it! Thanks for checkin’ in and be sure to check back every Saturday for new weirdness. Take it from good, old Uncle Mort, you were doomed the day you got here, so have fun! Mephistopheles!
Brothers and Sisters in Zen Boozeism,
Even though every day is cause for a celebration of some sort, this day, January 6th, is a little bit more so special than most.
What is so special about this January 6th you may be asking?
Firstly, it’s a day, and that’s cause enough for celebrations, as previously mentioned. Secondly, it’s a holiday, which is a day of even special-er importance than usual and which we also mentioned.
A Crashing Entrance
The Kuiper Belt – Jan 6-7, 1422 A.D. (local time)
A small vessel floated between the debris tumbling through the Kuiper Belt. It’s sole occupant was meticulously turning a dial on a console with spindly fingers. A sound like a tenor bell being struck at a plodding tempo swelled through the cabin. The pilot removed his fingers from the dial and pressed one of a myriad of blinking buttons.
“This is Ray,” he said.
“Seraph Raphael, state your position, ” said a disembodied voice.
Your Tanzanian Grandpappy’s Slender Man
In Tanzania, in the mid-sixties, someone felt the need to invent a very specific and horrifying urban myth. What followed was mass hysteria, most recently manifested in 1995. Popobawa, what’s name translates to ‘batwing,’ is a small humanoid with a large eye in the middle of it’s face, bat wings (see above) and a prodigious wang. It’s arrival is marked by the smell of sulfur, poltergeist action, and ninja butt sex. Best part of all: you have to admit to your friends that were the recipient of surreptitious sodomy or Popobawa keeps coming back. Did I say the best part? It’s also a shapeshifter.