Cheap E-Books!! All SEG Books are $0.99 until Jan 31st.

Hi,

The SEG Annual Free promo is over. Amazon only lets you go free for 5 days. We hope some of you snagged some of them. For the rest of the month, all the SEG Annuals and Hugo’s books are on sale for $0.99

Crazy huh? I know you might be thinking “Why would you try to sell us stuff you put on the internet for free?” That’s a great question, which has already been answered by the brand new SEG Gift Shop.

Here’s the answer:

We know, we know- why would you pay for stuff you can read for free on the site?

Well, we’ve been thinking about it too and came up with a few reasons:

  1. The annuals have fewer typos and have been lightly edited to give them that down home, sense making vibe that many readers enjoy.
  2. Your purchase helps support the SEG. We all know what the world needs the most right now is serialized olde timey pulp style fiction mixed with sophomoric attempts at humor and parody.
  3. Some people enjoy holding books made of paper.
  4. There’s no accounting for taste.

There ya go! A reason. Here’s the links to all the free stuff. Hope you like them:

Ray 2017 Annual

Crescent City Creeps 2017 Annual

The Adventures of Jimmy Jam and Sally Slam

The Joneses

Psamurai

The Adventures of T.J. Washington, Discreet Detective

The Ruiner

The Virgil St. Frankenstein 2017 Omnibus (Ray, CCC, Psamurai, and The Joneses )

The Page Five Ghouls 2017 Annual

Also, the works of The Rev. Dr. Hugo Holmesnow are free. Be sure to check out:

What is wrong with you? An introduction to what is wrong with you.

Conquer your dreams. How to conquer your dreams and accomplish your goals instead.

Thanks for reading. We’re looking forward to another year of silliness.

FREE! E-Books

Hi,

It’s A. Wiz talkin’ to ya. To celebrate one whole year of doing what we said we’d do (publish stories and related nonsense every week no matter how much it hurts.) we’re giving away ebook copies of all our 2017 annuals. For the next few days, our e-books will be free on Amazon. You can just go download them, right now.

Crazy huh? I know you might be thinking “Why would you try to sell us stuff you put on the internet for free?” That’s a grat question, which has already been answered by the brand new SEG Gift Shop.

Here’s the answer:

We know, we know- why would you pay for stuff you can read for free on the site?

Well, we’ve been thinking about it too and came up with a few reasons:

  1. The annuals have fewer typos and have been lightly edited to give them that down home, sense making vibe that many readers enjoy.
  2. Your purchase helps support the SEG. We all know what the world needs the most right now is serialized olde timey pulp style fiction mixed with sophomoric attempts at humor and parody.
  3. Some people enjoy holding books made of paper.
  4. There’s no accounting for taste.

There ya go! A reason. Here’s the links to all the free stuff. Hope you like them:

Ray 2017 Annual

Crescent City Creeps 2017 Annual

The Adventures of Jimmy Jam and Sally Slam

The Joneses

Psamurai

The Adventures of T.J. Washington, Discreet Detective

The Ruiner

The Virgil St. Frankenstein 2017 Omnibus (Ray, CCC, Psamurai, and The Joneses )

The Page Five Ghouls 2017 Annual

Also, the works of The Rev. Dr. Hugo Holmesnow are free. Be sure to check out:

What is wrong with you? An introduction to what is wrong with you.

Conquer your dreams. How to conquer your dreams and accomplish your goals instead.

That’s a lot of free stuff! Thanks for reading. We’re looking forward to another year of silliness.

The Joneses #12

“That’s right, Ray,” Yalda said, mumbling to himself as he ran, “Let me lead you on a merry chase. That’s what we do right? I lead, you follow.”

He noticed a woman preparing to place her children into her car. He ran behind her  and grabbed her by the neck, jamming a pistol into her stomach. The children began to cry.

“Get in,” he said.

“Don’t hurt my kids,” she said.

“I’m not interested in your kids. The last thing I need is your spawn screaming in my ear. I want your vehicle.”

“Just take it. Please, let me go. My children…”

“Unfortunately, I don’t know how to operate this thing so that’s where you come in.”

“Please, my kids need…”

“God damn it, human mothers never shut up about their kids. Get the fuck in.”

She cried and shook her head.

“Believe me, I don’t want to be stuck in a small metal box full of human stink either.”

He pushed her in and she sat in the driver’s seat. She looked up at him weeping.

“In, in, all the way in. I’m sitting there.”

“You said you don’t know how…”

“You’re going to tell me how. Now, move over.”

She climbed over the center console and flopped into the passenger’s seat. Yalda sat behind the wheel.

“Now what?” he said.

“Put this in that slot,” she said holding the key.

He grabbed it and did as instructed.

“Now push that button.”

He pushed it and the car grumbled to a start.

“Internal combustion?” Yalda said, smirking. “You people are monkeys. Now what?”

Continue reading “The Joneses #12”

Page Five Ghouls December 23, 2017

Mind Power

 

Byline: Stephanie Morgan

Dateline: December 23th, 2017

 

Heya, SEG-er’s, since Gary disappeared into the 5th dimension, I’ve been working on my control over the undead. You can teach them to dance. The Jackson Theory of Post-Mortal Terpsichorean Arts is correct. Skeletons can dance too, though it’s pretty creepy, like that old cartoon. If they can dance, they can march and they don’t get tired either. They don’t need sleep, which is good because we can’t afford sleep. The ravens have reported that Alwyn has begun amassing his army for another assault. On me. His granddaughter. Isn’t that messed up? Lucky me for me, I received his Christmas present early; my very own undead army starter set. I took control of the ones he sent to deal with me earlier. Can I take control of the new ones? Was I only able to take control when he isn’t here? Is it a proximity thing? Will it be like when Voldemort and Potter are shooting each other’s energy rays and you can tell who’s winning by how close the light ball between them is to one of them?

I’m starting to see what Alwyn likes about the undead, they’re very compliant. We’ve marched for hours and they haven’t needed a rest. Nathan had to stop twice. The kobolds are riding on the zombies, so they’re fine. Which gives me an idea. What are those things called that Cleopatra rode around in? I have to find out if Amazon carries those.

They don’t ask questions, either, which is a good thing because I don’t know where I’m going. I just know I have to get there. It’s like a psychic game of hot and cold, the closer I get the stronger the pull. The undead feel it too. More often it’s them who keeps us on course. At this point, I don’t think I could waver if I wanted to. It stopped being a choice miles ago.

The sky is gray like it wants to storm, but the air is too brittle for rain. The ground is solid rock and dry, ashen tufts of reeds that scratch like cicadas when the bitter breezes whirl in eddies, low to the ground. There are no trees, which in an earlier time would have been a great comfort to me, but now scream in my mind black omens. I was here. This is where the evil beacon ends.

Alwyn is here and with him an uncountable number of ghastly fiends, slavering as they await his command, burning eyes lusting for warm flesh. Could I take these under my command? Would Alwyn allow that?

Continue reading “Page Five Ghouls December 23, 2017”