Letter From the Editor August 12, 2017

Greetings, Doomed Monkeys! Here we go again, with a whole new Saturday Evening Ghost. Nobody knows witch way to go in this month’s Crescent City Creeps. Hugo Holmesnow came to work this week to bring us another possibly informative edition of Straight From the Fridge. T. J. Washington shows us why he’s nothing sneeze at in the latest installment of ‘Hoodoo, Hoodone, Hoodid’. And, as always, the globetrotting Page Five Ghouls are checking in on us. All of this is brought to you by our new sponsor, Cannibal’s Choice, whose line of terrific bath products will leave you feeling clean and delicious! So until we meet again (next week), sphygmomanometer!

Letter From the Editor August 5, 2017


Guess what time it is, Doomed Monkeys! It’s time for another round on me. On tonight’s menu we have another enchanting adventure of Jimmy Jam and Sally Slam. Sacrifices are made in this month’s thrilling episode of Ray. Stella’s here to get your month started off right with her Stellar Forecast, and as always the Page Five Ghouls are battling back with this week’s offering. All this is brought to you by the latest e-book setting Kindles on fire with the new scorcher from Alexis Steele, author of Dinosaur Carried In My Groceries and Muscle Bound Day Care Attendants. So until, next time, kiddos: Armadillidiidae!

Letter From the Editor July 29, 2017


Greetings, Doomed Monkeys. What have we here? Five Saturdays in July? You know what that means, kids. Rise and shine for the Saturday Morning Ghost. That’s where we have all sorts of puzzles and cartoons to keep the little ones occupied while the adults enjoy the main attraction. The Fifth Saturday One Shot this time, is a little side trip in the world of Psamurai. A. Wizard has put his podcasts through the distilling process and brought us what came out the other end; an interview with T. Volpone and an advertisement for good old Hugo Holmesnow. Feel free to browse the community corner and see if you can find what you’re looking for. And back with us as always are the Page Five Ghouls, looking for friends wherever they can find ’em. All this is brought you by Kenbro. They got an action figure of every kid’s favorite hero! And also by Stripper’s Choice purveyors of niche vodkas. Our cup is running over this week, guys! I’ll see you next week and until then, Weltschmerz!

Letters to the Editor

Dear Uncle Mort,

Several years ago I bought a purple AMC Gremlin to show my peer group that there’s no father to my style. Then all of the sudden everywhere I go I’m seeing purple Gremlins. A few years later I bought a blue Ford Fiesta with opalescent finish. Then, blue Fiestas everywhere! Earlier this year I bought a fire engine red Honda CR-V with a spoiler. Now all I see are people in red CR-Vs. Why does everyone have to cop my style, yo!


They See Me Rollin’


Dear Rollin’


Well you sure have a distinguished taste in cars! Why wouldn’t they want to emulate you? But, what you are experiencing is a shift in your perceptual filter. You see, our brains filter out a bulk of the stimulus we’re receiving every second. It takes what it deems necessary for whatever situation we find ourselves in, creates a model of our current reality and projects it out into the world. If it didn’t we might wind up catatonic or insane. The thing is, the red Hondas were always out there, but the stimulus was discarded by your brain as unnecessary details. That was until you bought your red Honda. You have red Hondas on the mind so you’re noticing all the red Hondas already out there. Want do a fun experiment? Look out the window for minute or two. Now write down all the blue things you remember seeing. It may be a pretty short list. Now look for all the blue things out the window. There’s an awful lot more blue out there than you thought there was! If you’re curious about what life would be like if you didn’t have perceptual filters, learn meditation, join a Sufi school or drop some LSD. It may also help with your narcissism and paranoia.

Continue reading “Letters to the Editor”

Letter From the Editor July 22, 2017


Greetings, Doomed Monkeys! Uncle Mort, back with another fine edition of the Saturday Evening Ghost. Merwyn is back, this week, with a terrifyingly good ‘Mystic Merwyn’. B. F. Smith found his way back, this week, with part four of ‘A Primer on Zen Boozism’. A. Wizard is here to shed some light on the situation with a double shot of Wizard of Whizzin’ in both sight and sound versions. This month ‘The Joneses’ get an odd helping hand and to round it all off, those crazy kids are back with a hell of a Page Five Ghouls. All this is brought to you by 8-Teen’z with a deal you can’t afford! I’ll see ya next week, kids. Alimentary!