Straight From The Fridge

To my reader(s):

It has come to my attention that you do not understand why I am here or why I write this column every month. It is not for my health and well being, that much is for sure. Some of you seem to think that I am here to solve all your petty problems such as “Why is my husband sneaking out of the window every night?” or “Where is my wife? I haven’t seen her in like, 3 weeks.” or even worse:

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Straight From the Fridge

 

Dear The Reverend Doctor Hugo Holmesnow,

Whenever I get involved in a relationship terrible things happen to person I’m with. It wasn’t always this way. I used to be able to meet some one and have a good time with them. We’d do things together, talk to each other, cook and eat food together- all the classic love things. For the past ten years or so, ever since returning from New Orleans where I visited a Voodoo priest and didn’t pay him, all of my romantic interests die during our first date.

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Straight From The Fridge

 

Dear Dr. Hugo,

I bought your book “What is Wrong With You” and read the entire thing. I didn’t really find out anything about what was wrong with me, only stuff about the things that have caused me to have things wrong with me. Puzzled by this phenomenon, I bought your second book “Conquer Your Dreams” and also read that one too. I didn’t really learn how to do anything from that book, only that it is bad to have dreams and want to do something with your life.

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Sponsored Content by The Rev. Dr. Hugo Holmesnow- “A Free Taste of My Wisdom and Power

Are you already a blogger?

Are you already doing “blogs”? If so, know that it is not to late to live the dream of one day rising above these urges and once again becoming a decent human being.

I know that being the sort of human being that can enjoy the company of other human beings in a social setting seems like a moon dream, a magical fantastical never going to happen so why not just keep blogging sort of wish. The sort of wish too big for a birthday cake to grant, far too big. That never stops you from trying, does it? Year after year, cake after cake, always failure.

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