The year is dwindling away like the serotonin in my brain. The meds helped for a while, but they stopped working after I quit taking them. It’s getting colder but my stupid uncle won’t turn the heat on yet, so I’m just going to have to get used to it. I wish Gary would call me back, I’m running low. At least there’s a full box of meowlowe to keep me company. Sometimes, I wish a single middle-aged woman would adopt me and dress me up in outfits. I’d be such an adorable pumpkin. Here’s your cosmic bullshit for November. Hissasocritious!
Aries– You should have stopped at three holes. There’s only one body.
Taurus– What is time? I mean, it’s got to be more than just clocks, right? Has to.
Gemini– You’d think with two of you, you guys would get more done. But no, all you do is talk and let the Virgos do the heavy lifting.
Cancer– What are you looking at?
Leo– Do you think of me when you’re falling asleep? Please say you do, even if you don’t.
Virgo– No one thinks you’re special, but they’re wrong. Sooooooooo wrong. Do you remember 10th grade? You were amaazzzzzing. Hug yourself.
Libra– How many times until you learn? That’s how many.
Scorpio– You know what? You’re not so bad. Just a little bad, in the right way :::giggle:::
Sagittarius-The sun exits your sign this month, leaving you in danger of Vitamin D issues. You should, you should…check your Vitamin levels thrice times a day.
Capricorn– I love you guys. I know I really stick it to you most of the year, but it’s because I’m jealous and I love you.
Pisces– The thing about, about youse fish heads is shhhhssmsmmm
Star Mistress Stella, Master of Stars has been practicing astrology and living in her uncle’s attic since 1978. In addition to her astrology practice Star Mistress Stella, Master of Stars sells handmade soaps and footmade lotions at local farmer’s markets.