A Primer on Zen Boozism Lesson 06

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Zen Boozism,

This is the last lesson in our course. We’ve been through some crazy stuff along the way. By now, you should be fairly well versed in performing the Sacred Sample and practicing some kind of daily meditation.

If you have been doing those things over the last few months, you are well on your way to becoming a Booze Wizard and have may have noticed some changes in your demeanor and/or internal thought processes. Modifying the external thought process is outside the scope of this course. I’m not even sure that would be something helpful for someone to do.

For this lesson we’re going to learn a new ritual, The Sacred Game.

You may be familiar with the concept of ‘drinking games’, which are games people play to make drinking more fun.

The Sacred Game is a little different from other drinking games in that it’s not meant to make drinking more fun. Drinking is fun enough as it is. The purpose of our drinking game is to keep one’s mind from going over and over the same old thoughts again and again. This is a useful game to play while sober, or not drinking, as well.

If you are going to sacrifice your sobriety on the alter of booze-fueled self evolution, you better have a plan for when your thoughts turn to bullshit. The Sacred Game will give you something else to think about other than how horrible 6th grade was.

The Sacred Game

Items needed- Rudimentary knowledge of the 7 classical planets, imagination.

Before we go into how the game is played, we’re going to go over the rudimentary knowledge necessary to play it.

The Rudimentary Knowledge Necessary to Play The Sacred Game

Each planet in the sky is named after a mythological deity of some sort or another. You need to understand the personality of the 7 planets listed below, so you can spot people and actions that are similar to them. The reason we’re using the planets is two fold: the planets are simple and impersonal.

Here’s all you need to know about them:

The Sun- Obnoxious and bold. Center of attention.

The Moon- Mysterious and quiet.

Mercury- Fast, tricky, talks a lot.

Venus- Sexy and rich.

Mars- Impulsive, fighters.

Jupiter- Jolly, fun and funny. Smart. Loves being generous. Drinks more than you.

Saturn- Cranky, doesn’t share well. Loves rules.

Everyone knows there’s more than 7 Planets and that the sun and moon are not planets. It’s a game, so let’s pretend there’s not and that they are. Pretending, that’s how games work.

This might seem a bit too close to Astrology for some of you, but we’re interested in the stories behind the planets, not signs and horoscopes, so don’t worry about becoming an Astrologer by accident.

Now that you know the above facts, you’re ready to play the game.

Playing The Sacred Game

Let’s assume you’re out drinking and your brain is thinking thoughts that aren’t being very helpful, so you decide to play The Sacred Game in order to return your attention to your Booze Whizzin’.

Begin by trying to guess which planet the bartender is from. Is he laughing and pouring big shots and overlooking the reefer smell? That sounds like Jupiter.

Maybe she’s not wearing much in the way of modest clothing and flirts for tips. That’s a Venus thing if I’ve ever heard one.

Keep on going like, try to describe which planet the people you see are from and make up a reason why.

You don’t have to limit yourself to just the folks in the bar. This game also works with fictional characters, co-workers, etc. I prefer using cartoons myself, but everyone is different.

You don’t even have to use the planets either, that’s just the traditional Booze Wizard way. Sometimes I like to use musicians instead of planets. I try to figure out what instrument someone would play.

The important thing is that you stay involved in the present and don’t go time traveling down some dark alley at the bottom of the back of your head.

Well, that about wraps up this primer course. You will continue to receive mailings approximately once a month as long as your membership dues are current.

As Always, I Remain

B.F. Smith, Alchemist of the Blues


B. F. Smith (photo unavailable), also known as “The Alchemist of the Blues”, is a time traveling Bluesman/Alchemist and founder of “Zen Boozism- The Path of the Booze Wizard.” When he’s not investigating chrono-anomalies or having the blues, he runs a mail order mystery school which mails out mysteries to those enrolled and then schools them.

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