A Primer on Zen Boozism Lesson 05

A Primer on Zen Boozism 05

Brothers and Sisters in Zen Boozism,

Well, here we are at the next to last lesson in the Primer on Zen Boozism Series. As we wind down this series of lessons I wanted to address the fact that we haven’t talked about booze that much.

The reason we haven’t talked about booze is because you already know how to drink, what you don’t know is how to drink like a booze wizard. It’s silly of me to sit here and tell you stuff you already know. That’s just as silly as you taking this course in order to learn things you’ve already learned.

Drinking the normal way is easy. All you need is some booze and a mouth. Then it’s just a matter of filling up your guts and going for a ride.

That way of drinking is fine for most. But if you’re reading this, chances are you were looking to drink a different way, the booze wizard way. The way of the booze wizard takes time to learn and shouldn’t be rushed. It’s much safer to wade into the depths of your mind rather than cannonball off the high dive right into them.

When a booze wizard drinks s/he intends to not only open up a line of communication between the mind and the heart but to walk away from the experience with a deeper understanding of oneself. This requires developing one’s ability to pay attention to one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions both sober and while under the influence, which is why the booze wizard is urged to learn and practice some form of meditation.

All that jazz we’ve been going on and on about regarding symbols needs to sit and distill in your mind and brain for a little while before we can discuss any practical applications for it. Don’t worry, there will be more symbol-related antics before we’re through.

This lesson, we’re going to re-visit the Sacred Sample from lesson one. As you might remember, it goes like this:

  • Get drunk at a bar, but pay attention to yourself. Take notes.
  • The next day get drunk alone and take notes.
  • Compare the two sets of notes.
  • Repeat until wise.

To say that the Sacred Sample is the most important ritual a Booze Wizard can preform might be an understatement, but it’s not much of an understatement. It’s the cornerstone of the system.
Through repeated practice the Sacred Sample will reveal all the aspiring Booze Wizard needs to know in order to evolve from aspiring Booze Wizard to an actual Booze Wizard and beyond, there just is no other way.

If you are sincere in your desire to use booze to evolve your mind and soul, you will find you will be provided with all you need to do so by the Sacred Sample.

So if you haven’t yet given it a shot (or two or three- it’s 5 o’clock somewhere), it’s time to do so now. That’s all for this time, next time we meet, it’ll be lesson 6- the final lesson.

Until then remember the motto of the Booze Wizard “Facti Ebrius, Et Attendere” (Become Drunk, Pay Attention.)

As Always, I Remain,

B.F. Smith

Alchemist of the Blues


B. F. Smith (photo unavailable), also known as “The Alchemist of the Blues”, is a time traveling Bluesman/Alchemist and founder of “Zen Boozism- The Path of the Booze Wizard.” When he’s not investigating chrono-anomalies or having the blues, he runs a mail order mystery school which mails out mysteries to those enrolled and then schools them.

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